.

"He has cancer."

The words took a few seconds to actually settle in. As soon as they did, my eyes flooded with tears.

My mind was racing.

No. 

Not him. Why him?

I've known what cancer is. I've know that people get it. But no one close to me had ever gotten it. I'd never experienced someone so close to me go through it.

Lots of people have had it. Lot's of people had it right now. I knew that.

But it's always been someone else's loved one.

Someone else's nightmare.

Someone else's problem.

Never mine.

But now it was.

Now it's real.

It was life's way of telling me to not take life for granted.

Life is precious.

I know that everything happens for a reason.

I know that this is part of a plan.

The part I have a hard time understanding, is why.

Why would someone so faithful, and so loving and so kind deserve this?

The future is going to bring pain and hurt and sadness.

I know that in the end we will all be happy together, but that doesn't mean that this will be easy.

In fact it's going to be so so hard.

I love him.

He's taught me so much.

He's one of the most intelligent and wisest man I will ever meet.

My lips tremble and my eyes glisten when I try to form the words to tell people what's going on.

I don't know what the future holds.

All I know, is that it will all be worth it in the end.